Hey, I get it. When you’ve worked hard to get where you are, when you’ve built something meaningful, when people look to you for answers—it’s easy to start believing your legend a little too much. Success has a way of lifting us up, sometimes so high that we forget what it was like to be down on the ground.
So if you’re feeling disconnected from your team, if things aren’t clicking the way they used to, or if you’ve caught yourself getting frustrated that people “just don’t get it,” I say this with all the respect in the world: it might be time to get off your high horse.
Not because you don’t deserve success. Not because you aren’t talented or accomplished. But because leadership isn’t about sitting above—it’s about walking alongside.
I’ve seen this happen to the best of us. I’ve been guilty of it myself. So consider this a friendly reminder from someone who wants to see you succeed even more. Here are a few ways to check if you’ve been riding a little too high.
How Do You Know If You’re on a High Horse?
You’re Talking More Than You’re Listening.
You used to be curious. You used to ask questions, dig for insight, and invite different perspectives. But now? You’ve started assuming you already know the answer.
And maybe you do—sometimes. But if you never need to hear what others think, that’s a sign that you’ve climbed a little too high.
Try this:
Next time you’re about to offer your opinion, pause. Instead, ask:
- “What do you think?”
- “What’s a perspective I might not be seeing?”
- “What would you do if you were me?”
Listening isn’t about pretending you don’t have expertise—it’s about reminding yourself that you don’t have all the expertise.
People Aren’t Pushing Back Anymore.
If your team agrees with you all the time, there are two possibilities:
- You are an all-knowing genius. Possible, but let’s be honest… unlikely.
- People have stopped feeling safe enough to challenge you. Much more likely.
This one sneaks up on you. It starts with small things—your team stops questioning decisions, your meetings become a one-way street, and suddenly, you’re surrounded by nodding heads.
Try this:
Make it clear that disagreement isn’t just allowed—it’s expected. Ask your team:
- “What’s wrong with this idea?”
- “Tell me why this might not work.”
- “What’s the part of this plan that makes you nervous?”
Real leadership isn’t about being right all the time—it’s about making the best decisions. And you can’t do that if no one is willing to challenge you.
You’re Losing Touch With the Everyday Struggles.
If you’ve worked your way up, it’s easy to forget what it was like when you were just starting out—when you were juggling multiple tasks, figuring things out as you went, and working without the resources you have now.
And if you’ve always been successful, it’s even more important to cultivate empathy for those who haven’t had the same experience.
If you’ve caught yourself thinking:
- “Why is this taking so long?”
- “People just need to work harder.”
- “It wasn’t that hard when I did it.”
Then, it might be time to step back and reconnect.
Try this:
- Spend a day with your frontline team.
- Ask newer employees what’s frustrating them.
- Try doing a task that your team struggles with and see if it’s really as “easy” as you think.
Humility isn’t about downplaying your success—it’s about remembering that other people’s challenges are just as real as yours were.
You Feel Like You Shouldn’t Have to Explain Yourself.
Leaders who get too comfortable on their high horse start believing that their decisions should be followed just because they said so.
If you find yourself thinking:
- “I don’t have time to explain this.”
- “They should just trust me.”
- “I don’t need to justify my decisions.”
Then there’s a disconnect. Your people don’t just need to hear your vision—they need to understand it. And understanding takes communication.
Try this:
Instead of expecting automatic buy-in, explain why a decision matters. Even better—invite input before the decision is final. When people feel included, they’re much more likely to support the outcome.
Coming Back Down to Earth (With Grace)
If any of this sounds familiar, don’t worry. We’ve all been there. Ego is a tricky thing—it sneaks up on us, especially when we’re good at what we do.
The good news? Stepping off your high horse isn’t about losing power—it’s about gaining trust, respect, and connection.
Here’s How to Stay Grounded:
Ask more questions than you answer. Real leadership is about curiosity.
Invite honest feedback—and actually listen. If no one’s challenging you, that’s a red flag.
Get back in the trenches. Stay close to the work and the people doing it.
Admit when you’re wrong. There’s nothing stronger than a leader who owns their mistakes.
Remember why you’re here. Leadership isn’t about status. It’s about service.
You’ve worked hard to get where you are, and you should be proud of that. But the best leaders never forget where they came from. They never forget what it was like to struggle, to learn, to grow.
If you want to be the kind of leader that people want to follow, stay grounded. Stay humble. Stay open.
And if you ever find yourself back on that high horse?
Well, just remember—it’s a long way down, and it’s much better to step off gracefully than to be knocked off by reality.
I’m rooting for you.